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I Want to Bore You to Death | 43 comments (43 topical, editorial, 0 hidden)

Re: I Want to Bore You to Death (4.00 / 7)

I've been balancing a very public and a private life for 40 years with no problem and mostly pleasure. My experience has been that if I'm respectful of people they'll return the favor, and if they don't, I don't have to make a fuss about it, and that ends that. If I slip up and am disrespectful of somebody and they return that favor, I have only myself to blame.

The older I get the more I realize there is no such thing as "security," so I don't worry about losing it.

Chris, I'm so glad you came to our front page. I love your writing and your wit.

My Website

by kansas on Sat Jun 10th, 2006 at 08:37:49 AM EST

Re: I Want to Bore You to Death (4.00 / 5)

This is the balance I've been shooting for. I'm not nearly as far along with the public/private balance process as you are, Kansas, but I knew what I was in for when I decided to become a professional writer. That's one of the reasons I've never tried to be an anonymous blogger. I knew from the get-go that the illusion of privacy was unlikely to last, especially if my book sales go anywhere, and I accepted that and post accordingly. Does it make me less likely to say some things on line. Absolutely, but that's not necessarily a cost. It means that I think carefully about what I post, and that's good. Now, I just need to learn to always use the spellchecker and triple check for typos.

Kelly McCullough - author of WebMage, Cybermancy, CodeSpell, and MythOS - ACE (Penguin)

by KMc (http://www.kellymccullough.com/mail.html) on Sat Jun 10th, 2006 at 09:26:57 AM EST
[ Parent ]

Re: I Want to Bore You to Death (4.00 / 5)

Yeah, we're trained by what we do for a living to think about our words before we commit them to publication, so maybe that makes it easier for us to transfer that to this medium, too. Yesterday, for instance, I wrote a furious comment to a diarist, rewrote it, rewrote it again, and again, and then really looked at it. I wouldn't have put it in one of my books. I would never have screamed it into somebody's face. I deleted it, and today I can only think, whew, thank god for editors, even the internal ones. I also like the discipline that is imposed on me by the knowledge that all anybody has to do is click on "My Website" to know who I am in RL. I want that person you meet on my website and the person you talk to here to be the same person, though I understand that some people want to be more playful with their personas than that. :) I never was any good at theater, myself, but I appreciate a good show!

My Website

by kansas on Sat Jun 10th, 2006 at 09:40:50 AM EST
[ Parent ]

Last year, staying in Iraq and "winning" (4.00 / 5)

was still in a lot of people's bake pans in the upstairs ovens. Some poor soul wrote a diary dissecting staying or leaving when I was at my worst. I did not attack that diarist or anybody who commented or speculated on his/her diary. I can't even remember who it was because thankfully I was enough in touch with myself to know that really wasn't what was important. What was important was that people were dying and other people who weren't in danger of dying from all the speculating were "speculating" like this many dead people and that many dead people was a good thing so long as "their speculations" worked out. I posted a diary titled Dissect This! Of course I had downloaded a photo of someone giving the finger....it was a really poor photograph really, I could have done much better. I haven't deleted the diary and I can't even remember what it said except I think that a few people commented to others that Tracy had had more than her fair share of war stress lately. I leave the photo I downloaded in my photo folder on my computer as a reminder to myself about how raw and emotional I can become in this debate. I still wrestle with how tactless and tasteless the diary probably is on one hand, and then on the other I wrestle with the notion that anybody going through Vietnam Vet Uncles killing themselves and husband's with PTSD all at the same time could be tasteful and tactful about "planning war successfully" diaries. UGH!

PMS Purchase More Shoes

by Militarytracy on Sat Jun 10th, 2006 at 09:58:46 AM EST
[ Parent ]

last year (4.00 / 4)

This business of saying exactly what we want to say in exactly the way we want to say it is hard at the best of times, much less when we're "fraught." It's not like we're born knowing how. Most of us, anyway.

Honestly what strikes me most about that story is that, if I'm reading you right, you were treated with love and understanding (and humor) by other people here who knew what you were going through and so made allowances. That happened because you have never hidden your life from us, and because you had earned the respect you were shown in that instance. IMO.

My Website

by kansas on Sat Jun 10th, 2006 at 10:08:12 AM EST
[ Parent ]

Re: last year (4.00 / 4)

I'm in perfect agreement with this entire post.

Kelly McCullough - author of WebMage, Cybermancy, CodeSpell, and MythOS - ACE (Penguin)

by KMc (http://www.kellymccullough.com/mail.html) on Sat Jun 10th, 2006 at 10:50:20 AM EST
[ Parent ]

The inner editor (4.00 / 4)

Has saved my tail many times. It's the voice that reminds me that writing furious means (for me) writing without thinking, and that often leads to bad writing. It means that when I feel strong negative emotions about the contents of a post, I don't hit send for at least half an hour. The inner editor is my very good friend.

Kelly McCullough - author of WebMage, Cybermancy, CodeSpell, and MythOS - ACE (Penguin)

by KMc (http://www.kellymccullough.com/mail.html) on Sat Jun 10th, 2006 at 10:53:34 AM EST
[ Parent ]

Re: The inner editor (4.00 / 4)

I asked this of Kansas, but I would also appreciate your thoughts.

I was wondering, do you see a difference between your "internal editor" and "self-censorship?"

I have been pondering the concept of "freedom of speech."

Those who dance are considered insane by those who can't hear the music. (George Carlin)

by tampopo on Sat Jun 10th, 2006 at 11:31:46 AM EST
[ Parent ]

Re: The inner editor (4.00 / 4)

I do see a difference. The inner editor doesn't prevent me from writing anything. It just makes me make damn sure that I understand the consequences of whatever I write, and that if I choose to write something, I do it to the absolute best of my ability. But that plays into my definition of self-censorship. Results are going to vary a lot. In my case it's never prevented me from writing something that means something to me. It has prevented me from saying things I know I wouldn't be proud of later. An example from the publishing side of my life would be that I never throw in graphic sex, violence, or profanity in a gratuitous way, but I have used all of those devices when I felt the story called for them. Because I've been very careful about that, I've never had an editor tell me to take anything like that out, and if an editor did ask me to do so, I would be in a good position to defend my usage.

Kelly McCullough - author of WebMage, Cybermancy, CodeSpell, and MythOS - ACE (Penguin)

by KMc (http://www.kellymccullough.com/mail.html) on Sat Jun 10th, 2006 at 11:49:07 AM EST
[ Parent ]

Re: The inner editor (none / 1)

Nice question BTW.

Kelly McCullough - author of WebMage, Cybermancy, CodeSpell, and MythOS - ACE (Penguin)

by KMc (http://www.kellymccullough.com/mail.html) on Sat Jun 10th, 2006 at 08:58:23 PM EST
[ Parent ]

Re: I Want to Bore You to Death (4.00 / 4)

I was wondering, do you see a difference between your "internal editor" and "self-censorship?"

I have been pondering the concept of "freedom of speech."

Those who dance are considered insane by those who can't hear the music. (George Carlin)

by tampopo on Sat Jun 10th, 2006 at 11:30:02 AM EST
[ Parent ]

Re: I Want to Bore You to Death (4.00 / 4)

I'm thinking. Check back later. :)

Do you? (I'm not going to read what you write about it until I figure out what I think.)

My Website

by kansas on Sat Jun 10th, 2006 at 11:46:00 AM EST
[ Parent ]

Re: I Want to Bore You to Death (4.00 / 4)

I asked you first! ;)

I don't know. I will have to think about it too.

Those who dance are considered insane by those who can't hear the music. (George Carlin)

by tampopo on Sat Jun 10th, 2006 at 11:50:50 AM EST
[ Parent ]

Re: I Want to Bore You to Death (4.00 / 3)

Kansas, I am responding here so the sequence of my comments is in order.

The distinction is still somewhat fuzzy, but I do see a difference. "Editing" I think of as part of the process of saying what I want to say with the goal of being understood. I don't question what I want to communicate, but rather how I want to say it.

"Censoring" is more about analyzing what I want to say and questioning the value of saying it. Intention and potential consequences are two criteria for examining value, at least they are the ones that come to mind at the moment.

Those who dance are considered insane by those who can't hear the music. (George Carlin)

by tampopo on Sat Jun 10th, 2006 at 12:43:02 PM EST
[ Parent ]

Re: I Want to Bore You to Death (4.00 / 2)

Done through thinkin'. Wish I had more to show for it!

All I can come up with is how those words/phrases feel in my body when I think them.

For self-censorship, I get a feeling of fear, which I take to suggest that I self-censor if I'm afraid of saying something out loud, or writing it, that seems true to me.

For self-editing, there's only a neutral or positive feeling, like how I feel when I'm going back over a rough draft and making it read better.

Now I'll go back and see if any of this relates at all to what you guys have said about it.

My Website

by kansas on Sat Jun 10th, 2006 at 02:47:31 PM EST
[ Parent ]

Re: I Want to Bore You to Death (4.00 / 2)

I find it fascinating how personal definitions are. Thanks for taking the time to think on this and respond.

I wonder if some of the discussions here at BT that have gotten so heated may have done so, in part, because the words chosen which we think are commonly understood, have such personal definitions.

Those who dance are considered insane by those who can't hear the music. (George Carlin)

by tampopo on Sat Jun 10th, 2006 at 04:05:46 PM EST
[ Parent ]

Re: I Want to Bore You to Death (4.00 / 2)

It was interesting to think about. Thanks, tampoco.

My Website

by kansas on Sat Jun 10th, 2006 at 06:36:14 PM EST
[ Parent ]

I Want to Bore You to Death | 43 comments (43 topical, 0 editorial, 0 hidden)

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