The transformation of actual event to legend still astounds me in its totality, as if nothing occurred that didn't conform precisely to plan & what actually did occur is now fully accounted for. At the same time, any manner of actual closure is rendered impossible.

Y'know, in NYC on 9/11 I didn't weep, though some around me did. For my part, I remained rather stoic, walking others through the day, moving on through.

Now, however, as we gather news about the continuing horror unfolding due to the completely voluntary actions of our apparent leadership, I weep daily. Senselessness on top of senselessness -- that far exceeds what was visited upon us, as a whole, in September 01. As the buildings burned on & there seemed to be no further attacks in store, we continued our lives, went to work, moved around, gathered together, ate & drank, developed complacency.

What our nation has undertaken 'in response' (but of course not) is thoroughly murderous insanity.

I screamed and probably shed a few tears, but my shrieks were of the deaths to come; knowing full well that CheneyCo. was perpetrating Planetary Evil in the name of greed and paranoia. I shrieked not in any fear, because I fear not the Dark Side. I shrieked knowing that the Bakers and Kissingers and Bushes of the world were going to unleash their plans, ready to conquer rightousness with double-speak. Every predictive thought on that morning came true in the subsequent 5 years of their reign of terror.

I shrieked for the lost innocence, the lost destinies of the millions about to be disregarded by the bastards in the White House. Millions, millions, across the globe, cannot act out their proper destinies because of the selfishness of a few dozen individuals who live in paranoia and greed.

The toxic black cloud rose especially high that day, keeping most of us in Brooklyn out of it's fumes. I was out walking with George that afternoon, and I found a charred remains of some legal document that had been burnt and lofted in the air -- thousands of documents flittered down to earth like dull sparkles as the black smoke cloud released it's contents down on us all beneath it's slithering trail. Mother Earth was polluted once again, as Saddam had done in Kuwait in 1991. The dirty bastards!!!

All night long, at a bar, I kept screaming at the television (something I've always been good at and take pride in) again and again -- how DARE you unleash the key to give CheneyCo. free reign to deceive us all!! How DARE you silly men, with your boxcutters, with your shortsighted revenge give these maniacs the gift of duplicity and the opportunity to use double-speak on the dumbed down, inane American people! How DARE you, you FUCKERS perpetrated the key to opening the Doors of Evil! FUCKERS. Time and again, I'd see the footage of the plane slamming into the South Tower, and I'd shout out FUCKERS! FUCKERS!  Idiots. Beyond. Belief.  They didn't know what they were doing.

I called in sick the next morning, because I still hadn't found WW yet. By then it was obvious what had happened, that the City was not under seige, and traffic and the subways started moving again, albeit the checkpoints and limited movements, especially the cordoning off of Downtown. Yes, my job would have let me come in if I wanted to work. Thankfully, no word was said about my choice or of all the others who chose to mourn or re-evaluate.

I shed no more tears, I felt no fear. I only knew that there was a tremendous amount of work ahead for me and the millions of people of good will and positive intentions acrosss the world to defeat the forces of Evil that were about to be unleashed. And unleashed it happened in March 2003 when the cowards of the United States Air Force began the destruction of the careful infrastructure of a nation oppressed by a dictator and 11 years of brutal sanctions. Today's civil war and Mideast schism is a direct result of the decisions on 9/11/01 by CheneyCo. to stick the wedge in right then and there to split the world into two factions: Those with Cheney and those not.

I will never forgive the 19, nor will I ever forgive the dozens of powerbrokers, the Blairs, the Putins, the Addingtons, the Sauds, the Bushes, it is not my job or role to forgive them. They must, through the excruciating slow turn of the Wheel of Karma, forgive themselves for the crimes against not only humanity they are committing, but against all the lives of this huge and diverse planet.

I have no fear.

Share. Share resources, share delight, share burdens, share the healing. Sharing will bring us back from mass suicide. www.share-international.org

What we've lost collectively since then, however, is of far greater significance; the 9/11 narrative now contains that loss.