Booman Tribune ~ A Progressive Community

Personal: Joy and a Proud Moment

by Oui
Sat Aug 9th, 2008 at 02:15:30 AM EST

.
My daughter has battled PPD and having her son, home and future taken away by her husband (a lawyer in the bad sense). Today she is doing well and works part time in her former job as a judicial advisor in the Court of The Hague (Dutch social benefits enables you to return to your job within two years of absence due to illness). Yesterday's third family court ruling will extend her share of custody and care for her son. Tonight her son will sleep in his bed in her own room at our place for the first time in a year. Over six weeks this will be extended for two nights and a long weekend every two weeks.

See my earlier information about my daughter here and here.

I must do a write up in a diary about her battle to recover from PPD [Postpartum depression - Oui] in the circumstance where her dominant partner has coercive control over her life. An absolute disgrace and a tough battle to get recognition within the medical and judicial system, even in The Netherlands. For now I will enjoy the presence of our grandson in our home .. and I'm exhausted from the long legal battle costing €€€ dearly.

Development and Validation of a Coercive Control Measure for Intimate Partner Violence (IPV)

"But I will not let myself be reduced to silence."

Personal: Joy and a Proud Moment | 34 comments (34 topical, 0 editorial, 0 hidden)

Re: Personal: Joy and a Proud Moment (4.00 / 7)

Glad that at least some parts of the episode are improving, the recovery and opportunity to grandparent especially. PPD is so easily not recognized and misunderstood.

by shergald on Sat Aug 9th, 2008 at 09:00:29 AM EST

Little Legislative Progress (4.00 / 4)

.
Thank you shergald!

Melanie Blocker-Stokes Postpartum Depression Research and Care Act

HR 20 will assist community-based providers (including physicians and nurse midwives), educate women and their families about PPD and offer the opportunity for new mothers to be screened during the first year of postnatal checkups. In addition, grants will be available to states, localities and community-based providers for delivery of essential services to women with PPD and psychosis, including enhanced outpatient care. Finally, HR 20 also expands existing research directed toward new treatment and diagnostic tools.

"But I will not let myself be reduced to silence."

by Oui on Sat Aug 9th, 2008 at 05:03:57 PM EST
[ Parent ]

Re: Personal: Joy and a Proud Moment (4.00 / 6)

Peace brings Joy.

All the very best.

Well, "You can't vote for war and disown the results"

by idredit on Sat Aug 9th, 2008 at 10:02:57 AM EST

Re: Personal: Joy and a Proud Moment (4.00 / 6)

Hope all goes well. PPD = Post-puerperal Depression?

"We reported back to hearts what we had seen, and told our footsteps all about where we had been."

by Frank Schnittger (Frankschnittger at hotmail dotty communists) on Sat Aug 9th, 2008 at 10:21:37 AM EST

PPD (4.00 / 6)

Postpartum depression

The birth of a baby can trigger a jumble of powerful emotions, from excitement and joy to fear and anxiety. But it can also result in something you might not expect -- depression.

Many new moms experience the baby blues after childbirth. An estimated 10 percent of new moms experience a more severe form of emotional distress known as postpartum depression.

Thanks for well wishes!

"But I will not let myself be reduced to silence."

by Oui on Sat Aug 9th, 2008 at 10:42:26 AM EST
[ Parent ]

Re: Personal: Joy and a Proud Moment (4.00 / 6)

I love waking up to good news!! I am so happy for you and your family. Big hugs to all of you!!!!

BTW, I always thought you were younger.

by cruz del sur (nicodk@sbcglobal.net) on Sat Aug 9th, 2008 at 11:58:52 AM EST

But .. but I am! (4.00 / 6)

.
As long as one can admire and love, then one is young forever
Pablo Casals

"But I will not let myself be reduced to silence."

by Oui on Sat Aug 9th, 2008 at 12:13:33 PM EST
[ Parent ]

Re: But .. but I am! (4.00 / 6)

I always knew you were young at heart. For some reason I thought you were in your 20's (that is what I meant by young) Of course you know I did not mean to offend you. I should have realized that you were to wise for such a young age :0)

by cruz del sur (nicodk@sbcglobal.net) on Sat Aug 9th, 2008 at 12:18:46 PM EST
[ Parent ]

Re: Personal: Joy and a Proud Moment (4.00 / 6)

This is great news, Oui. I'm very happy to hear it.

by BooMan on Sat Aug 9th, 2008 at 12:03:53 PM EST

Thanks Martin! (4.00 / 5)

.
When you are down in a hole and get thrash dumped on you, it's a long way to fight back, recover your health and stay focused on a new life!

Love of family and friends is what pulls you through, people who believe in you and want to see you recover. In the end it was a bright and experienced woman lawyer who won the case before the court of family justice. You get a maximum of 40 minutes to convince the judge to rule in your favor. Lives depend on the judgement. The ruling goes into effect immediately. There still will be a final settlement, probably not before the end of 2008.

"But I will not let myself be reduced to silence."

by Oui on Sat Aug 9th, 2008 at 01:22:36 PM EST
[ Parent ]

Re: Thanks Martin! (4.00 / 2)

It is great news!

I am fond of quoting the writer Lewis Lapham who once said: There are only two things that are important in life.Work that provides an outlet for our creative energies and love that gives meaning to that work.

Looks like in your battle for your daughter and your grandchild you have found both.

Good luck.

by KlatooBaradaNikto (easwar7@aol.com) on Sat Aug 9th, 2008 at 04:24:13 PM EST
[ Parent ]

Re: Thanks Martin! (4.00 / 5)

I waited for a long time trying to decide if I should post this.This is personal and may bear on something you have stated in your own post.

I am the father of six beautiful children.They are all wonderful in my eyes but my son, Christopher, who is the youngest,is very special to me and my wife.he was born nearly twenty years ago ( he Wil, turn twenty on August 15).H e was oxygen deprived during the C-Section that brought him into the world and as a result has suffered from Epilepsy all these years.That has made him developmentally disabled although he has some basic control over his vocabulary and basic actions.

We have tried many medications over the years without much success.As late as last month, he was still getting two or three seizures each night making it difficult for him to achieve any sort of motor control.

Out of the blue, we decided to try a drug recommended by a well respected Epileptologist at the Cleveland Clinic.This drug, although dangerous in some cases, has agreed with Christopher, and has completely controlled his seizures in over a month,opening up the possibility that he could achieve normal life again.

To say that,as parents we are overjoyed, would be an understatement.When I read your post, I realized how good you must feel because it captures the way my family feels.

We are one with you in spirit.And wish you many more joyous years with your daiughter and grandchild.

Thanks for a post that has stirred us.

by KlatooBaradaNikto (easwar7@aol.com) on Sun Aug 10th, 2008 at 12:16:18 AM EST
[ Parent ]

Thank you KBN (none / 1)

.
For your kind words and thoughts. I'm so happy you experienced such an improvement with your son. I wish you and your family all the luck and good health. Life is never easy, but health is an essential and should not be taken for granted.

That's why universal health care should be provided in a nation claiming to be a world leader and sole superpower. It's all about choices in life and priorities. A trillion US bucks for the failure of the Iraq invasion, occupation and WOT?

"But I will not let myself be reduced to silence."

by Oui on Sun Aug 10th, 2008 at 06:12:09 PM EST
[ Parent ]

Re: Personal: Joy and a Proud Moment (4.00 / 7)

I'm so old that when I was in high school, there were no medications and still huge institutions for the mentally ill, and my class was taken on an educational trip to visit. (Yes, I know it's a dumb idea, but it wasn't my idea.)

Anyway, there was a small building entirely for postpartum depression patients. The tour guide told us, rather offhandedly, that some women come back every time they have a baby (this was before birth control pills, too) and that patients generally recovered and went home in a few months.

It's apparently widespread, and probably ought to be talked about at baby showers.

I'm glad your family is back together and sorry you had to work so hard for it.

by Joyful Alternative on Sat Aug 9th, 2008 at 12:08:51 PM EST

Re: Personal: Joy and a Proud Moment (4.00 / 6)

Oui, I can't tell you how happy I am for your family. You must be so proud of your daughter for fighting her way back from PPD and the loss of custody. Not to mention an emotionally abusive partner.

And I know all to well how exhausted you must be, and how expensive that fight must have been. So glad things are looking up for everyone.

by CabinGirl on Sat Aug 9th, 2008 at 12:23:46 PM EST

Re: Personal: Joy and a Proud Moment (4.00 / 5)

great news oui!

what a relief this must be, as well as joy, to have your family united again.
best wishes and blessings to you all.

the revolution will not be televised...Peace

by dada on Sat Aug 9th, 2008 at 01:32:38 PM EST

(Grand)dad's experience (4.00 / 2)

.
My grandson is such a sweet little guy (2 years old) who felt very comfortable and adjusted to a long weekend with his mom as if he knew none other. The very first night in a strange bedroom and bed, my daughter was a bit nervous. Ah, but granddad's experience reading from a book and a lullaby song still worked miracles. He slept like a rose and woke up at 7:15am. Nice!

Thank you for the well wishes.

"But I will not let myself be reduced to silence."

by Oui on Sun Aug 10th, 2008 at 10:23:12 AM EST
[ Parent ]

Re: Personal: Joy and a Proud Moment (4.00 / 5)

Nice to hear some good news today, Oui. Best to you and your family.

"Don't waste your time on the clowns, watch the real show"

by Second Nature on Sat Aug 9th, 2008 at 01:40:05 PM EST

Re: Personal: Joy and a Proud Moment (4.00 / 4)

I am so happy for you and your family Oui.
I am just having my grandson 2 for a sleepover last night and I know the joy you are feeling at having him close again.
Sorry for all the pain your family has gone through, hopefully it will now be all good..
I have a niece who is suffering PPD right now, she is unable to care for her 6 mo. old, only for her 2 yr. old. Her mother and grandmother and various others have cared for youngest since birth.

Click here to step into the Village Blue2

by diane101 (dianed101 @ yahoo.com) on Sat Aug 9th, 2008 at 02:18:37 PM EST

What can I say good friend? (4.00 / 2)

.
Here at the pond we share joy and sadness. Having a grandson gave immense joy, to have him taken away from my daughter by her husband was just incomprehensible. It's been nearly ten months of hard work to clear her of the unfounded charges as to her mental state and recovery from PPD. I admire her for a great motivation to recover from her illness and drive to be able to care for her son. I promised her I would work the legal battle for her. We both won.

(((Diane))) always!

"But I will not let myself be reduced to silence."

by Oui on Sun Aug 10th, 2008 at 10:41:59 AM EST
[ Parent ]

Re: What can I say good friend? (4.00 / 3)

You are an inspiration as a father, Oui, I send out lots of love and hugs to you and your family.

Wouldn't it be nice if we could see future problems in the spouses we pick, myself included. Watching my daughter go through her divorce brings that point home. She can now see all the negative things we did all those 17 years with her choice of spouse, but for far too long she defended and excused his behavior.
Then we say, well we wouldn't have our dear grandchildren and nieces and nephews, so I don't have an answer to that. Maybe psychological testing and compatibility screening would help, pre marriage.
It does give us pause that these same children will have to endure years of an incompetent father to be the kindest. I can hardly vear when our dear little 2 year old, (same as your's Oui) goes to spend a weekend with his Dad.

Click here to step into the Village Blue2

by diane101 (dianed101 @ yahoo.com) on Sun Aug 10th, 2008 at 11:48:18 AM EST
[ Parent ]

Re: Personal: Joy and a Proud Moment (4.00 / 3)

Your daughter is so fortunate to have you for her Dad - I can only imagine how difficult is was for you to watch your beautiful baby girl suffer. I am now enjoying thoughts of you all being together. Thank you for sharing your good news and continuing to educate us!

Those who dance are considered insane by those who can't hear the music. (George Carlin)

by tampopo on Sat Aug 9th, 2008 at 03:51:17 PM EST

Thank you tampopo (4.00 / 2)

.
The people visiting the pond always inspire and give support. Amongst friends it's not just political but also the personal well being that matters. Thank you for your kind words

"But I will not let myself be reduced to silence."

by Oui on Sun Aug 10th, 2008 at 10:31:21 AM EST
[ Parent ]

Re: Personal: Joy and a Proud Moment (4.00 / 4)

Wonderful news, (((Oui)))
I am grateful for all you do for us here, and I'm sure your daughter is grateful too.

Wishing you and your family peace, love and blessings forever.

by Alice on Sat Aug 9th, 2008 at 04:40:51 PM EST

Thanks (4.00 / 2)

.
For the kind words and your great support here at the pond always! If you are unable to create peace with friends and family, how can you save the world? My thoughts are often with you, hope all is well with your loved ones. Take care and warm (((Alice))).

"But I will not let myself be reduced to silence."

by Oui on Sun Aug 10th, 2008 at 10:27:46 AM EST
[ Parent ]

Re: Personal: Joy and a Proud Moment (4.00 / 4)

Thanks for sharing your joy with us! Blessings to your family.

"Only when we are no longer afraid do we begin to live." Dorothy Thompson, Journalist

by Indianadem on Sun Aug 10th, 2008 at 08:59:32 AM EST

Re: Personal: Joy and a Proud Moment (4.00 / 3)

Oh, Oui, what great news you share with us here in the pond. I am ecstatic to hear of this development. You and your family deserve the joy you feel today. It is a looooooooong time a coming! May the love and joy that only a family can bring to ones heart be with you always and to your family as well. Our hearts are with you, as always........peace at last! many hugs

by BrendaStewart (stormyweather1@hotmail.com) on Sun Aug 10th, 2008 at 11:45:01 AM EST

Re: Personal: Joy and a Proud Moment (4.00 / 3)

more like this!

there is no such thing as history. there are only historians.

by S2 on Sun Aug 10th, 2008 at 12:43:38 PM EST

Re: Personal: Joy and a Proud Moment (4.00 / 3)

Your support made this possible. I'm wishing your family all the best.

by Cee on Sun Aug 10th, 2008 at 12:50:00 PM EST

Re: Personal: Joy and a Proud Moment (4.00 / 2)

I am very glad for you and your daughter, Oui!
As a father of two daughters, I understand what you must feel.

"ne te courbe que pour aimer..." René Char

by Melanchthon on Sun Aug 10th, 2008 at 08:18:19 PM EST

Re: Personal: Joy and a Proud Moment (4.00 / 2)

Good and welcome news. Enjoy your grandson!

Fear will keep the local systems in line. -Grand Moff Tarkin -SLB-

by boran2 (blogistan@yahoo.com) on Mon Aug 11th, 2008 at 09:03:33 AM EST

I have to rec and run, but... (4.00 / 2)

...thank God for the time with your grandson. It is a gift.

We just arrived from Charleston and Atlanta for a wedding and a mini-family reunion. I really appreciated having the time to spend with family and friends (who are like family).

That's what is important! Enjoy your grandson, and more soon!

Hugs, AP

(I almost used our "government" names--heh. :) But we send our best wishes.)

Presumptuous is the new uppity.

by AP on Mon Aug 11th, 2008 at 11:41:18 AM EST

Re: Personal: Joy and a Proud Moment (4.00 / 2)

Here's to building on this momentum. Thanks for sharing.

Joy should be a right.

Viva Presidente Ezequiel - Aquí no hay quien viva!

by anarchronarchist (mincers (-at-) hotmail (-dot-) com) on Mon Aug 11th, 2008 at 03:27:43 PM EST

Re: Personal: Joy and a Proud Moment (4.00 / 2)

That is great news, Oui. You and your daughter must both be very pleased. Thank you for all the effort you have put into this place, too. Hugs from down under for you (((Oui)))!

musings of a bureaucrat

by canberra boy (canberraboy1 at gmail dot com) on Tue Aug 12th, 2008 at 09:24:49 AM EST

Personal: Joy and a Proud Moment | 34 comments (34 topical, 0 editorial, 0 hidden)

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