Bet that got your attention. Or maybe not. But actually, in all honesty, Bill O'Reilly, perhaps warming up for his annual War on Christmas mini-series, has decided to go after Rio Americano High School in California for the "too sexy" dance moves of its Song Team. Because God knows (and who among Fox viewers would argue that Billo knows God) once you start to let them teenagers dance to that evil rock and roll you got trouble in River City Sacramento, my friends:

Fox News television host Bill O'Reilly's show recently blasted Rio's song team for provocative dance moves during a performance at a back-to-school rally. His "Culture Warriors" segment featured Fox commentators Margaret Hoover and Gretchen Carlson dissecting the dance routine while a recording of the most titillating moves played over and over on a loop. "They were absolutely overtly sexual," Hoover said. "What do you call spreading your legs and shaking your booty? [...]

Then Carlson chimed in:

"Can you imagine the young teenage boys sitting in that school audience? How in the heck were they concentrating on algebra after that?"

Oh the shame! The uproar! I bet that High School is gonna catch hell now from the good, upright and God-fearing citizens of Sacramento, now dadgummint! And I bet some parents are taking that school's Principal back behind the wioodshed for a littlem one on one "talkin' to" if you get my drift. Right?

About 50 parents attended the Aug. 24 rally, and none of them complained, Principal Brian Ginter said.

The song team's routine didn't strike him as anything particularly noteworthy. By high school dance team standards, the girls were modestly dressed in loose-fitting light pink blouses, full-length pants and sneakers.

"What our girls did at their dance routine wasn't really anything different than I've seen in dance routines across the country," Ginter said.

So who exactly is in a tizzy over these lewd young ladies and their demon possessed ways? America wants to know.

Senior John Butterfield, 17, had a front-row seat at the performance. He left the rally so shaken that he wrote an opinion piece for the Mirada, the school's student newspaper.

"Moves like we saw at the Aloha Rally are not allowed at normal school dances or even in most socially acceptable settings," Butterfield wrote. "This is a high school rally, not the latest music video, and when the song team spends most of the routine bent over, while it may (elicit) catcalls from the audience, it is simply not appropriate." [...]

Trent Allen, spokesman for the San Juan Unified School District, said the only complaints that have come to the district have been from O'Reilly viewers outside Sacramento.

As it should be, my friends, as it should be. Fight on Mighty Culture Warriors! Fight on! And Mr. John Butterfield, intrepid Future Fox News Correspondent, thank you for the courage to speak out against one of the most perfidious evils of our times: the illicit "entertainment" offered by these young ladies to your male colleagues on campus. No matter how much they may chastise you for your right to get Bill O'Reilly and his audience all riled up over the decaying morals of "your generation" stand true and erect, firm in your beliefs that American boys need salvation from the evils of sexy dance routines. And when you do make it to the "Big Show" make sure to ask Billo for some advice on how to conduct oneself properly with members of the fairer sex. He has some great wisdom to impart in that area. Trust me.